Quote

I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Attend
Invited
Argument
Emotion
Every

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Image
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Image
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Image
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Image
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Image
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
Image
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
Image
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
Image
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Image
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
Image
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Image
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Image
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Image
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
Image
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Image
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields