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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Boot
Infant
Boots
Ambition
Secret
America

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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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