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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Secret
America
Men
Boot
Infant
Boots
Ambition
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
