Quote

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Boot
Infant
Boots
Ambition
Secret
America
Men

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields