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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Consider
Church
Found
Didn
Ever
Might
Knocking
Believe
Joining
Churches
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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