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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Ever
Might
Knocking
Believe
Joining
Churches
Consider
Church
Found
Didn

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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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