Quote

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Proof
Jonah
Asked
Whale
Stories
Whales
Anything
Referring
Need
Specifically
Many
Biblical
Needs
Fish
Believe
Fishes
Indisputable

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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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