Quote

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Believe
Fishes
Indisputable
Proof
Jonah
Asked
Whale
Stories
Whales
Anything
Referring
Need
Specifically
Many
Biblical
Needs
Fish

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Image
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
Image
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
Image
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
Image
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Image
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Image
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Image
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
Image
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
Image
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Image
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Image
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
Image
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Image
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Image
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Image
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Image
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
Image
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields