Quote

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Head
Bank
Natural
Store
Money
Stores
Body
Lawyer
Slot
Human
Opening
Openings
Humans
Eight
Unable
Seven
Extra
Hold
Extras

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I never met a kid I liked.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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