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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
People
Movie
Heard
Actors
Speak
Wanted
Broadway
Nothing
Sign
Play
Silent
Would
Movies

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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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