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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Wanted
Broadway
Nothing
Sign
Play
Silent
Would
Movies
People
Movie
Heard
Actors
Speak

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I drink therefore I am.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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Never work with animals or children.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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