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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Sign
Nothing
Play
Silent
Would
Movies
People
Movie
Heard
Actors
Speak
Broadway
Wanted
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields