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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Nothing
Sign
Play
Silent
Would
Movies
People
Movie
Heard
Actors
Speak
Wanted
Broadway

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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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