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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Even
Grandparent
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Films
Influence
Audience
Means
Cane
Film
Tripping
Home
Grandparents
Mean
Aged
More quotes by W. C. Fields
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
