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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Influence
Audience
Means
Cane
Film
Tripping
Home
Grandparents
Mean
Aged
Even
Grandparent
Like
Films
More quotes by W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
