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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Gorgeous
Sunshine
Brothers
Brother
Sort
Mother
Effulgent
Murdered

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Never work with animals or children.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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