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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Full
Bloom
Politics
Freeze
State
Asleep
Fall
Union
Death
Bush
States
California
Unions
Rose
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
