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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Rose
Full
Bloom
Politics
Freeze
State
Asleep
Fall
Union
Death
Bush
States
California
Unions
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
