Quote

A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Thinks
Thinking
Usually
World
Becomes
Lives
Dream
Around
Doe
Revolves
Whole
Conceited

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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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I like children - fried.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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