Quote

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Except
Drink
Water
Anything
Like

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Image
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields
Image
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Image
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
Image
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Image
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Image
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Image
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Image
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
Image
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
Image
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
Image
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
Image
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
Image
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields