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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Dining
Stomach
Empty
Believe

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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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