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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Stomach
Empty
Believe
Dining

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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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