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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Stomach
Empty
Believe
Dining
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields