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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Believe
Dining
Stomach
Empty
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
