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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Believe
Dining
Stomach
Empty

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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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