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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Dining
Stomach
Empty
Believe
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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