Quote

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Steak
Dear
Merely
Horse
Outside
Didn
Used
Tethered

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Image
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
Image
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
Image
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Image
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Image
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Image
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Image
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Image
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Image
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
Image
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
Image
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Image
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Image
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Image
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields