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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Tethered
Steak
Dear
Merely
Horse
Outside
Didn
Used
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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