Quote

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Havens
Certificates
Many
Haven
Earthquake
Great
Aren
Earthquakes
Years
Prove
Francisco
Married
Proves
Marriage
Legal
Seen
Destroyed
Fire
Proof
Certificate

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
Image
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Image
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
Image
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Image
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
Image
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
Image
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
Image
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
Image
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
Image
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Image
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Image
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Image
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
Image
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Image
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields