Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Great
Aren
Earthquakes
Years
Prove
Francisco
Married
Proves
Marriage
Legal
Seen
Destroyed
Fire
Proof
Certificate
Funny
Havens
Certificates
Many
Haven
Earthquake
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
