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Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Animals
Animal
Children
Work
Never
More quotes by W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
