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Never work with animals or children.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Animals
Animal
Children
Work

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields