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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Intoxicated
Sympathy
Doesn
Need
Needs
Men
Time
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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