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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Time
Intoxicated
Sympathy
Doesn
Need
Needs
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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