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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Sympathy
Doesn
Need
Needs
Men
Time
Intoxicated
More quotes by W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
