Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Intoxicated
Sympathy
Doesn
Need
Needs
Men
Time
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
