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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Doesn
Need
Needs
Men
Time
Intoxicated
Sympathy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I like children - fried.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
