Quote

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Thing
Like
World
Chess
Ultimately
Worst
Quite
Best
Nothing

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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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