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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Best
Nothing
Thing
Like
World
Chess
Ultimately
Worst
Quite
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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