Quote

It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Alive
Funny
Men
World
Lucky
Gets

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Image
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
Image
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
Image
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Image
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
W. C. Fields
Image
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
Image
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Image
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
Image
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Image
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
Image
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
Image
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
Image
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Image
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
Image
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
Image
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
Image
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields