Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Woman
Tying
Around
Knot
Long
Knots
Believe
Neck
Wedding
Necks
Marriage
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
