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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Long
Knots
Believe
Neck
Wedding
Necks
Marriage
Funny
Woman
Tying
Around
Knot
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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