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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Long
Knots
Believe
Neck
Wedding
Necks
Marriage
Funny
Woman
Tying
Around
Knot
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
