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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Need
Foods
Needs
Witty
Personally
Stay
Age
Funny
Natural
Away
Preservatives

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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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