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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Needs
Witty
Personally
Stay
Age
Funny
Natural
Away
Preservatives
Need
Foods

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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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