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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Kill
Less
Anything
Shalt
Fifth
Thou
More quotes by W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
