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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Less
Anything
Shalt
Fifth
Thou
Drinking
Kill
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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