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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Twelve
Beer
Drinking
Stronger
Anything
Never
Drank
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
