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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Drank
Twelve
Beer
Drinking
Stronger
Anything
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
