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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Sours
Whisky
Lemons
Whiskey
Drinking
Hands
Make
Life
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
