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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Make
Life
Sours
Whisky
Lemons
Whiskey
Drinking
Hands
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
