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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Whiskey
Drinking
Hands
Make
Life
Sours
Whisky
Lemons
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
