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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Like
Tongue
Drinking
Walking
Feet
Food
Night
Feel
Midget
Feels
Muddy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
