Quote

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Like
Tongue
Drinking
Walking
Feet
Food
Night
Feel
Midget
Feels
Muddy

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Image
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
Image
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Image
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
Image
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Image
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Image
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Image
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
Image
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Image
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Image
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
Image
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
Image
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
Image
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
Image
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields