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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Feel
Midget
Feels
Muddy
Like
Tongue
Drinking
Walking
Feet
Food
Night
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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