Quote

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Headed
Drinking
Boys
Two
Never
Headache
Circus

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
Image
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Image
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Image
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Image
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
Image
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
Image
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Image
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
Image
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Image
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Image
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
Image
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
Image
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
Image
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Image
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields