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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Less
True
Drinking
Anymore
However
Either
Quite
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
