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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Less
True
Drinking
Anymore
However
Either
Quite
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
