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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Sissy
Reply
Drinking
Fields
Think
Thinking

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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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