Quote

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drink
Reality
Occurs
Dues
Beer
Alcohol
Lack
Drinking
Illusion

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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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I like children - fried.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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I drink therefore I am.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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