Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Reality
Occurs
Dues
Beer
Alcohol
Lack
Drinking
Illusion
Drink
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
